Helpless
by Maisy Brave
Summary: Liliana is the rich daughter of a Mafioso. She's been protected all her life because she's fragile. When she meets a boy who shows her the joy in murder, Lil takes his words by storm, leading her to kill many, including those close to her. What happens when she's asked to join the Varia? Will she make friends and fall in love? If only that damn kid didn't steal her from him. TYL.
1. No Longer Blind

Chapter 1: No Longer Blind

My room filled with the recognizable scent of coffee as my eyes slowly blinked open.

I was used to the hazy darkness in my left eye, even if it wasn't normal, and the cloudiness in my right slowly cleared away as the faint light shone through my French-style window.

Just another day as a rich middle school kid in Italy, I suppose.

After heaving myself up to gaze out of my window at the beautiful sunrise, my door slowly swung open to reveal my mother standing there. "Hurry _up_, Liliana! Do you need me to walk you down the steps? Breakfast is almost ready!"

"No, mother… please, call me Lil… and I'm not hungry…"

It'd been a couple of days since I'd been hungry. I hadn't been accused of starving myself yet, but I was told by my mother that the less I ate, the smaller and frailer I'd stay.

The worst part about it was she told me it was a good thing. Naturally, I believed her and began to do so at a young age. Old habits die hard. It'd stunted my growth and weight; being 5'0 and weighing only a little more than a hundred at 14 years old didn't seem normal to me.

My mother's brown locks cascaded down her shoulders as she ran her fingers through them. "I don't want you sounding like the no-class hoodlums down the street, Liliana. Hurry up; we have to go to the eye doctor again this morning."

I breathed a sigh. After my family had found out I was born almost a hundred percent blind in my left eye, I was treated like an idiot who couldn't see. My mother in particular _still_ thought the doctors could treat it and make it so I could see.

"Mother, my eye is what it is. I can't help it."

Her eyes rolled as a small huff escaped her mouth. "I'll try as long as it's possible. The more helpless _you_ are, the more helpless the family is. Your father-"

"-has always wanted a first-born daughter who was perfect and with no weaknesses to run the family business. I know, mother." I fought to keep my voice calm. My mother always stressed out whenever I acted like I _wasn't_ an obedient little half-blind girl.

"Liliana, we have to at least _try_ to get your eye fixed. _You_ will inherit our family's business, remember?"

As she whisked down the stairs after shutting my door forcefully, I felt my hand wander up to my unseeing eye.

My fate had already been sealed for me at birth; I had no choice but to take over our rich family's fortune and business; Del Vecchio's Weaponry.

Father had come up with this business to deal with weapons of any and all sorts to sell to the Mafia Families around the world, not to mention personalizing their weaponry for their specific family crests.

However, I'd never be able to live up to our family name if I never got my eye fixed, which is definitely impossible. My entire family thought that I was so incapable of handling myself that I have been homeschooled and protected throughout my entire life.

I slid into my slippers as I navigated around my dark room, picking up my finely-labeled clothing.

"_Ready for__ another day… of rejection."_

There was no way in _hell_ that the eye doctor could come up with a way that I could see. Even if he could, I'm _fine_ with the way I am and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Sliding into my white, frilly blouse, I sighed as I heard more footsteps approaching my room.

Pausing and glancing outside, I could see my two sisters, both fraternal twins, standing in front of my door; Carmela and Gabriella Del Vecchio. They were both a year younger than me, but they were both taller and tougher than I was.

A small gasp of fear escaped from my lips as I swiftly proceeded to lock my door.

"_Did they see me…?"_

"Lame Liliana will come out soon, Gab. She's gotta go to the eye doctor _again_ today."

"_AGAIN?_ When's mom gonna give up on her? There's _no_ way she'll be able to see out of that eye."

I felt myself crawl backward into my dresser as makeup products fell onto my head. My sisters were simply alive to torture me. They knew I wasn't as physically strong as they were, and they took full advantage of me.

Most likely, they'd scare me on my blindside, repeatedly, but sometimes it got out of hand to the point I came across injuries and mental torture.

They are, in my opinion, the epitome of evil. Mother doesn't see it, though. She thinks it's their way of showing affection… and if _you_ think showing affection is threatening someone with death out of jealousy, you're dead wrong.

"_I can't let them break me today. Not today…"_

Frantically turning around in circles so my eye could see everything, I found my pencil skirt lying on the edge of my bed where I'd left it the previous night.

Quickly changing into it, I heard one of them bang on my door. "Liliaaaaannnnnaaaaaaaaa!" They called, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I grabbed one of my most simple pairs of sandals and struggled to put them on as I shook uncontrollably.

"_What could they do to me now…?"_

My fear swam up to my throat as I laid my hand on the doorknob, ready for whatever they were ready to do to me today.

Swinging it open, I braced myself for some sort of impact, but it never came. My sisters had disappeared from sight.

Glancing to my right, the staircase was dark and silent, and then time froze as I stumbled down it in fright.

A loud noise had shocked me into fleeing, as I heard uncontrollable laughter from up the stairs as I tumbled down and down, feeling my bruises already begin to show.

I hit the bottom as my mother came around the corner.

"Goodness me!" Mother raced toward me, terrified. I could see how worried she was for me, the little blind child.

I could have rolled my eyes at this point. "Mother, I'm fine."

Of course, as usual, that wasn't how she saw it. "Call an ambulance, someone! Oh my good graces, are you hurt? Where, sweetie?"

"Mother, no ambulances this time. I'm perfectly okay. All that happened was the twins-"

"Big sis! Are you okay?!" My twin sisters hurried down the steps to me in the usual manner, acting like I suddenly mattered to them.

After a frantic call to my father and a few checkups from the maids and mother, I was finally ready to go to the stupid eye doctor to get my eye checked out.

"One minute, Liliana. I must get the limo ready."

I nodded obediently as mother disappeared from sight, prompting the twins to pop out from out of nowhere, like usual.

Carmela was the first to speak to me. "Liliana, you gonna go to the doctor just to be told you can't see out of that eye _again_?"

I nodded reluctantly, as both twins stepped forward and Carmela continued: "If you don't wanna go, then why don't you just say no like we do?"

"Oh wait," Gabriella smirked. "Mother will be disappointed in you, won't she?"

The two began to laugh as I felt my feet lead me toward our large glass door. My black bangs that covered my hazy eye swished backward as the wind tore through my hair when I opened the door to an unfamiliar world.

It'd been a hell of a long time since I'd been anywhere besides my room by myself… let alone the _terrifying_ outside, where everyone was 'out to get me'.

Don't kid yourself.

"I'll show you," I muttered to my sisters as their laughter pierced my emotional boundaries inside of my brain. "I'll show you both that I can think for myself."

My sudden burst of confidence seemed to propel me out the door.

In my nice clothes, I felt myself pelt into the front yard as I frantically spun in circles to make sure no one but my sisters had seen me just break free of my birdcage; I had transformed into a free-spirit.

I arrived at the gate to our luxurious three-story home and I put in our code as fast as I could: 0204.

The gates swung open and I felt my freedom wash over me. I'd never tried to do anything for myself, but today most certainly _was_ the day.

I took a left and almost ran into a nicely-dressed lady taking a stroll with an equally stunningly-dressed man.

"I-I'm sorry!" After a quick apology, I hurried down the cobblestone road as fast as I could.

The thrill of finally doing something on my own, the thrill of getting away from it all… it was breathtaking.

"_I've gotta find a way to hide…"_

My sudden obsession with being alone… it hit me. I'd never felt this purposeful in my entire life.

"_Mother must be worried…"_ The thought of that made my knees feel like noodles, but I refused to let myself stop hurrying to take cover so I could finally enjoy being a normal person.

On the street, there was no way in hell I'd be protected out here. It's every man, or in my case woman, for themselves.

One of my sandals slid off as I came to an intersection and took a left so I didn't have to cross the street.

"What do you think you're doing?"

A deep voice made me stumble and fall onto the ground. Wildly, I looked around, my adrenaline pumping through my veins, preventing me from feeling immediate pain from the fall.

Whoever had spoken to me loomed over me as they grabbed me by my hair.

"You're a rich kid, huh? I ain't a fan of rich kids."

My mind was racing. I'd never been confronted by anyone I didn't know… much less by someone who didn't like people like me.

"I-I'm sorry!"

Even though I hadn't done anything wrong, I couldn't stop myself from apologizing. That was when whoever it was let go of my hair.

"Not even a tough rich kid. Whatcha doin' out here on your own then?"

I looked up and felt immediate fear. A red-headed boy with blazing hazel eyes stood above me, glaring. He couldn't have been any older than I was.

"I… I'm… running away…" My timid voice squeaked as he smirked at me.

"Running? You're rich; why would you run from that?"

I felt myself start shaking as I struggled to stand up. My bangs swished back over my blind eye as the kid refused to let me answer.

"I guess I could care less. Not much of my business anyway, you know? You wanna come chill with me and the gang, then? That is… if you're not a snitch."

"Snitch…?"

He snorted and flipped his hair. "Doin' what the rich kids do. Tellin' on us to the police."

I shook my head as my knees buckled from underneath me, naturally. I remembered how fragile my bones and muscles had gotten from starvation as I hit the ground, feeling a few bruises begin to develop in the process.

"You can't even stand for more than five seconds? If you're running away, you _have_ to run with me and the gang! Damn, I mean… a rich kid, one of us! Man, they'll have a laugh!"

I was confused as the boy held his hand out to me, which I took, gladly.

"The name's Romano."

"Romano…?" I expected him to tack on a surname, but I'd expected wrong as he blatantly ignored it and hurried down the street, pulling me along.

"So, little rich girl, what's the name?" Romano had seemed to open up to me as we turned corners hurriedly.

"M-my name's Liliana." My mouth seemed to go dry as Romano smirked.

"What a typical rich girl name."

The cobblestone streets and the warmth of the day began to dawn on me as I felt the wind blow through my hair. Romano seemed like a nice enough guy from what I could see, but he kept referring to a 'gang'. It kinda unnerved me.

Only after we got to a dead end did Romano finally stop to talk to me. "Okay, now, we gotta say the password. It's RATSMACK."

"R-RATSMACK?"

Romano nodded hastily as he wiped his ginger bangs out of his face and pulled me through a narrow passageway behind a trashcan.

I could feel nasty, gooey liquid squishing between my feet as I finally squeezed out to the other side with a rusted out old, creepy building facing my way. Not to mention the questionable-looking door.

"C'mon," Romano grabbed my arm and forced me up to the door as a blue eye stared at me from inside a visible crack in the rotted door.

"Rooms And Tombs Sever Men At Coming Kindly."

"RATSMACK, Lanzo." Romano answered for me as a dirty blonde boy with nothing but cargo pants on opened the door and the two of them shook hands.

I felt awkward as Romano pulled me into the building.

It was dark at first, only a dim light lit up the building, but I slowly counted five sets of eyes staring at me, curiously.

The darkness of the room, hopefully, covered up my grimace of fear.

"Gang," Romano spoke up. "This is a new member, Liliana. She doesn't know how the gang works or anything of the sort, so I expect you morons to help her, okay?"

An audible agreement seemed to chime through the room as all of the eyes got closer to me and I could suddenly make out faces.

The dirty blonde was the first to hold his hand out to me. "Name's Lanzo. Nice to meetcha, Liliana."

In turn, all the rest of the 'gang' stretched their hands out in the same manner as I learned names; Antonio, Fabian, Bruno, and two that I couldn't seem to tell apart; Sal and Ric.

Romano patted me on the back as he began to show me around, telling me how _great_ my new life was going to be.

I shook my head, saying that I had to go home or the cops would find me, but I knew that was a lie. I wouldn't _be_ going home. This _was_ my home. A place where everyone was for themselves.

I would no longer be protected.

**Three Months Later**

I was walking… no, running... down the street with Romano and Bruno to a local snack store.

Don't bother me with specifics, that day was pretty hazy.

It'd only been three months since I'd begun running with these guys, and flyers flew around with my face on them all over the place.

I knew that my mother and father must be panicking, and the twins were probably glad I was gone, but the cops were searching as hard as they could for me, and it was evident.

The three of us had gone to get food for the rest of the gang, and in the process, they wanted to test my field skills, as risky as it may be.

"Lil, whatcha think about just straight up asking the guy for a couple of free snacks?"

I remember shaking my head and telling him that we shouldn't ask for handouts, but he overwrote me as the leader of our expedition.

Bruno only seemed to nod at me when I was overwritten and we proceeded to walk in.

Romano, of course, asked if we could get a free snack or two.

Inevitably, the clerk told us that there was no way in hell that we'd get anything _free_ outta him.

"Old man, we're starving!" Romano protested further, but the man politely showed us the door.

"You brats are better off asking someone else."

I nodded and began heading for the door, as a naturally obedient girl would, but Bruno grabbed me by my arm and shook his head.

Romano quickly glanced around to see if there and pulled something out of his pocket.

My eyes widened as I realized it was a knife.

"_Where'd he get a knife…?"_

Bruno nodded to me. "Get back, Lil," he warned me as Romano pounced on the man, sending blood flying all over the place as the helpless clerk yelled for help.

My mind began ripping itself apart; the brutality of what Romano was doing to the poor man messed with my morals.

"_He can't kill an innocent man just because he can't get what he wants!"_

My conscience had kicked in way too late. Romano let out a howl; a triumphant one. My blood when cold when I saw the latter all over the counter, all over the floor.

That very same knife that was used in the murder was covered in blood and skin that dripped all over as Romano shook his head.

"We can't let the cops find this," Romano muttered, staring at his knife.

He suddenly jerked his head toward Bruno and I. "We've gotta get the hell outta here. Grab as many fucking snacks as you can carry."

I did as I was told as I scrambled for the first shelf I saw, slipping and sliding through the blood on the floor.

"_I can't believe I just witnessed a murder…"_ My hands shook as I hesitated in now stealing things after being a part of a murder.

My conscience wouldn't let me grab anything as Romano snapped at me: "Lil! Hurry the hell up!"

I nodded and grabbed five bags of whatever the fuck it was and hurried out of the store with Bruno beside me.

Romano had stayed behind to do something, and when I glanced behind me, I could see him kicking the dead clerk and shouting curse words and telling his dead body how evil he was.

According to my leader, he had gotten what he'd deserved.

* * *

We barely managed to get back to the base after we'd caused a huge uproar in the city. This would definitely be all over the news by morning.

My brain still hadn't caught up to what I'd witnessed, and the more I thought about it, the more scared I became.

What if someone could identify us and we'd be thrown in jail?

I knew I couldn't handle jail time, not to mention I'd had nothing to do with the murder than watching it happen. We never set out to _murder_ anyone… did we?

The gang began celebrating within moments of our arrival back, and I approached Romano, wanting to ask him a few things.

He nodded and pulled me to a dark corner.

"What is it, Lil? You did well on your first search-and-receive mission, by the way."

I nodded in thanks, but that wasn't exactly what I'd wanted to talk about.

"Romano… why did you kill that innocent man? He needed to make money… that's why he wouldn't give us anything for free…"

Romano cut me off as his deep hazel eyes bore into my green and gray ones.

"If you were a clerk selling things and a couple of starving kids who can't get jobs because they were too young and were not going to resolve to stealing came up to you and asked for food, what would you say?"

"U-um… I would tell them… they could have some food…"

Romano clapped his hands and smirked at me. "Exactly. See, Lil; that man was evil. He didn't want to give us food because he was rich and he'd rather see us starve than lose a few sales."

I felt my breath catch in my throat. Had… _I_ been that way when I was rich? Was my _family_ that way?

"From what you've told me, Lil, I think you've had your own run-ins with evil as well."

My mind still couldn't wrap itself around the fact that I'd been involved in murder, but I finally looked Romano in the eye meaningfully after I finally put together the pieces.

"I want to destroy as much evil as I can from my life… and everyone else's."

I'd never been surer of anything in my entire life, and I knew exactly what I needed to do to prove it.

* * *

The plan I'd devised had only taken a week to come up with; I knew the layout and the security cycles of my own home like the back of my hand.

Romano had helped me plan it, too. He'd given me the best time to sneak around, which was 8pm, and said he could pose as a decoy so if something happens to go sour, he'd take the fall for it.

I remember asking him why he'd take a fall for such a thing that I was about to do, but he only told me that he knew I'd do the same for him.

I don't think I'd ever get so noble in my life, but I went with it as the gang wished Romano and I good luck.

The minute we got out of the base, Romano handed me a shiny object and told me I had three shots.

My mind couldn't seem to register the fact that I was carrying a gun and not a practice butter knife or anything as I hid it in my jacket.

The two of us fled down the street as I took every turn I did only three months prior. We stopped in front of my grand old home and I told Romano to follow me until we got inside.

Romano only agreed to what I said as I punched in the security code. I wasn't here to say hello or to make a hero's comeback. I was here to raise hell.

* * *

The blood of the maids splattered the walls as Romano cleared a path for me to get up to my sister's room.

I approached the staircase. It was that very same staircase that I'd taken many falls from, and this time, it wasn't going to be me.

"Romano, can you wait down here? If anyone else comes at you, do you think you can handle it?"

He only nodded and glanced around yet again, his hazel eyes darting back to me.

"Do what you need to do."

I grimaced as I hurried up the stairs and put my hands on the door, feeling nostalgia run through my veins.

"_I bet you're sorry you ever fucked with me now, huh?"_

My unsuppressed anger took over as I forced the door unlocked. I only needed to look around for a moment before I spotted Carmela and Gabriella huddled in a corner together, pointing a pencil my way.

"If you're a burglar, you can take whatever you want! Just leave us alone!" Gabriella shrieked and tried hiding behind Carmela.

I smirked and shook my head. "Unfortunately, you're not that lucky today."

Carmela was the one who seemed to recognize me first. I must not have had that helpless blind girl look on my face anymore.

"L-Liliana!"

Gabriella seemed to get it, too. "L-lame Liliana? What are you doing? Are you the one who's hurting people downstairs?"

I couldn't believe that Gabriella had the _audacity _to call me by my nickname at this stage of my rage, and I unconsciously decided she'd be the first to go.

"I ran away because I was done with being treated like I was weak and unimportant, so I was originally just going to let the things that happened between us slide. I never realized how much I hated both of you until now."

This had been the first time I admitted to hating my sisters to their faces, and I could see the fear in their eyes like I'd never seen before.

It was thrilling.

I took my gun and held it to Gabriella's head and nodded to her. "You used to call me Lame Liliana… I'll call you Gone Gabriella. Bye, bitch."

My finger pulled on the trigger and I watched the blood and brains splatter about the wall they huddled against.

Carmela shrieked in fear as she cowered behind her risen hand. "Liliana… we're sisters! Please, don't kill me… the things we used to do to you… they were wrong… please, I don't deserve this…"

I felt myself lift my arm and aim at her as well. "The only reason you admit it now is because I can suddenly beat you. I can do something back to you. The only thing that evil deserves is death."

More brains and blood splattered about the floor. It wouldn't have been nearly as bad if Carmela had just died like Gabriella did.

Carmela's body had a spasm for a full minute; arms looking like they're reaching for something, the whole shebang.

I think the worst part about that was that I sat there and took it. I watched Carmela slowly die, even though she'd been dead since the moment her brains were blown out of her head.

It didn't bother me, though. I'd ridded my family of evil and I'd ridded myself of it as well. If this was what it felt like to be a liberator, then I was all for it.

I realized how little time we had left to stay inside the house as I called to Romano and told him we needed to get the hell out of the house before some of my dad's men came home.

Careful not to be completely identified by the hidden cameras all over the house as we hadn't when we came in, we repeated it as we got out.

Halfway down the street, Romano asked me how I felt about my first encounter with evil and destroying it, even if he had no idea about the hatred I felt for them and how badly I wanted them dead.

I told him that it'd felt absolutely great and that I'd needed something like this to help get my dream started. There was no way I'd turn back after this.

* * *

Only days later, Romano had been arrested for both murders that I'd committed, as well as some of the injuries and other murder that happened among the maids.

We all knew the police were coming to get him, though, so he'd already set up what he had to say to the entire gang.

I was surprised that he'd taken the fall for what I'd done, but he said that he was done with street life anyway. At least in jail, he would have food provided for him every day and not have to worry about getting money or having a job.

In the minutes before he would purposely go and turn himself in, he turned to all of us gang members.

"Gang, it looks like I'll be going to the big house, and don't _none'ya_ follow me! To make sure of that, I've decided to name Lil the leader of this here gang."

My heart skipped a beat. Why _me_, out of all of these guys? I was _definitely_ the most inexperienced and most fearful of… everything.

However, once Romano made up his mind, you'd better move the _continents_ closer together before you even _attempt_ to change it.

Romano glanced around fearfully as he hugged me and told me that I'd better take care of the guys. "Or else, I'll shoot ya."

I couldn't help but laugh as I felt a tear or two bud in my eyes.

"Romano… I don't think I can do this…"

I had to be honest. I was more of a follower than a leader.

He shook his head as his hazel eyes bore into me. "Lil, you've got this, yo. I'm pretty sure if you're unsure of yourself, the gang's here to help ya. Don't worry about me none, either!"

His light-hearted smile stuck with me as he slowly handed me something shiny and told me to take care of it as he sauntered out of the building and was apprehended by the cops a few blocks away.

I only needed to glance at it for more tears to build up in my eyes.

The very same knife that he'd shown me what taking care of evil was like. I looked over it some more and realized that his name was engraved into the blade.

My lip began to tremble. Romano had been the first friend I'd ever made, and I _knew_ that. I trusted every word he said to me without a doubt, and he trusted me the same way.

Even though he would be either locked up for life or executed in a few years' time, he was alright with that because he thought of me as someone he could sacrifice his happiness for.

I would have surely done the same if it came down to it.

* * *

That was all years ago. It was only a memory, now.

I'd grown into someone that my entire gang had come to respect as many of them went different ways, until I was the only one left.

It's been 15 years since that fateful day, and I'd killed more people than I could count, now.

Most of them were shady-looking business men, but even _I_ knew, coming from a Mafia family, that it was bigger than that.

Not much had changed about me since I was 14, I mean, I was still the same height and although I gained a couple pounds, I continuously lost them due to my continuous starving myself.

I mean, I'm quite sure I have an eating disorder, but at this stage of life, it doesn't feel like a disorder, you know what I mean? Old habits die hella hard.

My blind eye, of course, hadn't gotten any better. What'd you expect?

Not to mention my way of killing. I'd come up with the perfect assassination style; poisonous darts.

It was so simple and deadly that I'd kill a grown man in seconds without having to even _touch_ him.

It was perfect.

My entire life was perfect until I got a letter dropped off to me on the front of the building.

_Hello, Liliana Del Vecchio__._

_Your assassination skill is unmatched all throughout Italy, as expected. You are the kind of person that many fear, even though they have no idea what you look like._

_This letter has been sent to you regarding a very special request._

_The Vongola's Independent Assassination Squad, the Varia, requests that you join its utmost prestigious ranks._

_If your answer is no, then simply burn this notice._

_If yes, you will meet one member of the Varia tomorrow morning at sunrise at the place where you witnessed your first murder._

_We appreciate your time._

Below it was a stamp; an official-looking one. Maybe this was my big break.

Hell, I'd been waiting for someone to notice how stealthily I killed people.

The Varia; I'd heard of them. They were fearsome, even in my books. If I could become one of them, maybe my name would be known around the Mafia.

I wouldn't be some weak little tiny blind girl anymore.

I'd be the killer they'll all fear.

* * *

Oooooookayyyyyyy, this is officially the longest chapter I've ever produced in a single night.

Sorry about all those words, it takes me _forever_ to explain something once I get going on it.

However, I finally finished KHR only a few weeks ago and recently came to the conclusion that I must write a fanfic for it.

I don't plan on reading the manga, so if I mess up on something that involves something that happens in the manga, I'll look up spoilers and shit so I'm not completely behind.

Not all chapters will be _anywhere_ near this long… usually I'm right around 2.5k words, but this is 5.5k… damn!

I appreciate feedback, so review please! Tell me what you think of this huge hunk of text.

(Don't even ASK about RATSMACK... first thing that popped into my head.) xD


	2. Sarcastic Frog

_Flashback:_

_The Varia; I'd heard of them. They were fearsome, even in my books. If I could become one of them, maybe my name would be known around the Mafia._

_I wouldn't be some weak little tiny blind girl anymore._

_I'd be the killer they'll all fear._

Chapter 2: Sarcastic Frog

I got up that next morning and decided that, of course, today was the day.

This group, the Varia, wanted to accept _me_ into their 'utmost prestigious ranks'. I was finally going to become noticed.

Honestly, I couldn't help but laugh to myself. How would _they_ know the place I'd witnessed my first murder?

Then again, this was probably the most elite assassination group. I was about to make a hop, skip and a jump to a whole new level.

I decided to brush my hair today and slowly but surely, the inner light from my hair shone through beautifully.

"_Don't take it so seriously… today is just the day you've decided to join the Varia. Stay calm."_

It's not like it was a fashion show anyway.

The moment I set out on my final journey to my destination, I took a look at the old building I'd stepped out of.

Since those days, we'd obviously had it refurbished and added general resources such as food and refrigerators, even bunk beds, but… it was home. It had been where I'd finally belonged, and now, I was leaving.

The rest of the gang had to go through this, too, when they left to continue their lives, and I was regretful that I'd been the last one to do this. I had no one to comfort me and tell me that the building would be well-cared for. It'd just fall back into ruins like it'd been before.

After a somewhat teary goodbye, I finally headed down to the abandoned candy shop. Ever since the murder, no one ever wanted to buy the building or even have anything to do with it, but the lease sign was still in the window and the door remained unlocked.

I hesitated as I neared it.

What if this was a plot and someone was in there, waiting to kill me?

I shook the thought out of my head as I hesitantly opened the door.

Standing there was a boy with a large frog hat, standing there, aimlessly, muttering to himself.

"Hello." I caught his attention and his sea-green eyes set on me. It was only a moment's time until he shook his head.

"I thought you'd _never_ show up. I was actually starting to think you ran away."

This kid, he can't have been older than I was, was sitting here calling me a pussy. His words infuriated me, but I bit my tongue as he reached up to his head and tossed his bangs to one side.

"Your name is Liliana Del Vecchio, am I right?"

My eyes opened wide. It'd been _way_ too long since I'd heard my own name said back to me.

"Yes. Who are you?"

The boy didn't even seem to smile as he headed for the door. "We can talk about me on our way to the castle. We've got some things to go over while we walk there, and we'd better hurry."

I didn't bother to ask him what his rush was as he proceeded to open the door and held it open for me.

"_He doesn't seem… right. It's almost as if he's… a robot of some sort. I don't sense any genuine emotion within him."_

My thoughts allowed me to somewhat judge this boy as we walked through town at a slow saunter.

"D-doesn't anyone think you're weird for walking around with a frog hat on your head?"

I bit my tongue as I realized I'd stuttered, but the boy only set his unwavering green eyes on me.

"If they do, I don't notice. I don't think anyone could look more ridiculous than _you_ do, Lili. I mean, come on. Are you 100% blind in _both_ eyes? Your shoes don't match."

My eyes widened as they immediately shot to my feet. I was wearing two different shoes, but one of them wasn't familiar. I'd never seen this shoe before.

Almost instantly, the shoe turned back into the one I'd been wearing before.

"I made you look even more ridiculous by thinking that you wore two different shoes. I mean, who does _that_?"

My eye twitched in annoyance. Who _was_ _this_ brat? How the hell did he know I was blind?

"How'd you know about my blindness?" I had to put it bluntly, knowing I'd just get a blunt answer straight back.

The strange frog child only wrapped his arms behind his back and turned to me, slowly.

"I know a ton about you, Lili. Probably more than you'd want me to. _I_ was the one who decided that _you_ should be inducted into the Varia."

I immediately stopped and apologized for my rudeness.

"_That was NO way to act around the person who got you your big break,"_ I scolded myself as the kid only shrugged in my direction and kept walking.

"What are you apologizing for? I'm not gonna cry about it. Lili-chan, hurry up! We'd better hurry before the boss realizes I'm gone… or even worse… senpai… he'll probably threaten me with murder again. Great."

My embarrassment mounted as we hurried out of the city, careful not to draw a lot of attention to ourselves as we headed for what I call Mafia Land; where all of the huge castles were around here.

"_I'm guessing that… the Varia castle is over there somewhere."_

I turned to the boy walking beside me only to find that he was staring at me. The sight unnerved me and I hastily looked away.

"Still shy, Lili-chan?"

"Okay, wise guy," I stopped in my tracks and turned to him as his expression changed to confused. "I wanna know some things about _you_ since you seem to know _everything_ about _me._ What's your name?"

"Me? Well… you can just call me Fran. Don't even _try_ Fran from The Nanny or Franny or Fanny Pack."

This Fran's sarcastic attitude made me crack up for a moment as we continued walking. "Or else what?"

"Or… I'll cry."

My eyebrows furrowed as I glanced at him and his face was emotionless. He was starting to creep me out.

"…You have _no_ sense of humor, do you, Lili? I was _joking,_ I don't cry."

"I just laughed…"

An awkward silence dawned on the two of us for a moment, and then Fran suddenly spoke.

"Well, a gay baby has been brought into this world."

I stared at him, startled. "W-what?!"

Fran threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "You're _uncultured_, too! You should have stayed in school!"

I felt anger suddenly build up inside of me and come out in one sentence:

"How's that uncultured? Is that _even_ culture?"

Fran shrugged. "I dunno. I didn't go to school either. I said it to sound smart. Stop yelling at me."

I felt my hands wander up to my face in defeat; if I had to deal with _this_ kid every day after my life was finally on track, what would I do? I'd surely go insane.

"Lili, hurrrryyyyy. Boss will get irritated that I'm out so long."

"Wait," my logic finally started to kick in as a bird screeched overhead. "How does the boss not know that you came to get me?"

Fran stared at me. "What; did you _expect_ him to know?"

"Obviously," I felt irritation begin to make the tension in the air even fiercer. "I thought _he_ was the one who gave the 'okay' for me to join."

Fran seemed to shrink away from me as he spoke softly. "Well, thing is, he doesn't know."

I stopped in my tracks. "What do you mean he doesn't know?"

"Well, I've been following you for a while, researching you and seeing you in action; watching all of the big-time Mafia bosses and subordinates you took down die within minutes. I think its borderline _genius_ that you came up with a way to assassinate people and not be detected. It's pretty much what we call 'Varia Quality'."

Although I was happy that Fran-kid was praising me, he still hadn't answered my question.

"You don't quite meet all of the requirements, but that can be worked on and everything… that letter that was sent to you… that was me, not the boss. He'd never accept a new member, especially into _our_ ranks, right now. I just thought I'd take the chance."

The entire world seemed to slur as my anger set in. Did he think my life was a fucking joke? I thought I'd finally been able to belong somewhere, but this piece of shit was just testing it out to see if the boss would accept me.

My fists clenched together in anger, but I bit my tongue as hard as I could. I wasn't going to cry. I felt that automatic reaction begin to surface, but I bit it back.

I was not going to cry.

Fran seemed to see it, though. "Don't cry about it, Lili. I'm sure once we convince him, the boss will be quite pleased with you. You've wiped out half of our hit list by yourself. I honestly took the risk because there is _no_ way the boss is that dumb."

My mind cleared at those words. Praying to a higher being that he was right, I went with it, nodding.

"Okay, Fran, so who else is in the Varia that I need to know about?"

"Well, let's see… there's Senpai, who's a pain in the ass to deal with… Lightning Pervert, whom I suggest you stay away from for obvious reasons… Our drag queen, Luss, whom I'm not sure of his, um…, her… _its _actual gender, and Squealo, who can't shut up for two seconds. I'm pretty sure we're overrated.

My head tilted to the side, curiously. "What about your boss?"

Fran shrugged. "We don't usually see a lot of him. He's usually in his office, working. He's one tough bastard. Scars all over his face, and you know when he's pissed because _more_ just _happen_ to appear."

My imagination began to wander. "I can't wait to meet everyone if I'm accepted, of course."

Fran shrugged yet again. "Like I said, we're overrated. We _may_ be able to kill almost anyone on the face of the Earth, but when it comes to each other… it's a dead end."

The more I seemed to talk to this kid, the more friendly he seemed to get, even if most of his answers were sarcastic and blatant.

"Lili-chan, why're you so small? That's one thing I never found out about you. You're older than Senpai and he _towers_ over you."

I shook my head, glancing down at my body. "I guess I just didn't get enough nutrition. Old habits-"

"Die hard. Yeah, I know that feeling." The strange frog man Fran finished my sentence as we finally entered an empty-looking lot and crossed it, only for me to find that it was a courtyard.

"Is this… it?"

I found myself staring up at a huge castle. Every bush was trimmed beautifully and there were fountains dotting the gardens outside. It looked like anything _but_ an assassination crew's headquarters.

Fran nodded as a voice distracted us:

"Idiot, where the hell'd you go?" A blonde-haired boy approached us. The crown, or tiara, on his head was kinda cute. It was almost like he was playing dress up.

Fran's eyes opened wide. "Bel-senpaiii. I was out running errands."

The blondie seemed to glance at me, but his eyes were completely covered by his bangs.

"Who's this? Outsiders, in our HQ? Boss will have your head if I don't."

Fran shrugged past him as he crossed his arms behind his back again. "She's pretty important. I wouldn't mess with her. We have to go talk to the boss. I'll introduce her to you later."

I followed Fran hastily as the blonde guy snorted. "Blow me off, will ya?"

Inside the castle was just as beautiful as it was outside. Flowers in vases every few feet, marble floors… it was like a castle little girls dreamed of growing up in.

"Stick close to me; the closer we get to the boss's room, the more likely it'll be that we'll run into more of them."

I obeyed as we climbed a huge flight of beautiful stairs. It was pearly white, like in the movies. My joy took a plunder for the dumps as we stopped outside of a grand door at the top.

"Okay, some rules… don't say _anything_ stupid. He will _literally_ blow your head off. Don't cut him off. Don't… uh… how about you just… not talk? You'll see what I mean."

I nodded, feeling my legs suddenly go weak in fear. What if this guy _did_ blow my head off? I was terrified as Fran cracked open the door and slowly proceeded in.

"Boss, I've got someone here that you probably wanna see."

I followed Fran inside and, as my eyes adjusted to the different light, I saw two red eyes staring at me. They were full of hatred and anger.

"Who the hell are you?" His deep voice asked me, and my throat cleared to say something. Fran stared at me worriedly, but I managed to speak.

"I'm Liliana Del Vecchio, and I would like… to join the Varia."

His red eyes only got more intense after my request, and then they suddenly brightened as he closed them and a sound emitted from his throat.

He began laughing at me.

* * *

Wow Xanxus, r00d. Okay, yeah, this chapter was substantially shorter, I'm proud of myself :3

However, I'm really upset because I feel like I'm lame when I try to be funny and I portrayed Fran all weird. (Yes, I'm calling him Fran because Flan is a Spanish dessert and that bothers me.)

Also, I do love the way this story is coming along. I have yet to get my first review, though, so I have no idea what _you_ _guys_ think.

Please help me out by reviewing, though. It makes _me_ feel better knowing that at least _someone_ likes this story. xD Also for feedback, you know? Anything that I can improve on?

Anyhow, as for next chapter, get ready for some... well, you can see where this is going.


	3. Varia Quality?

_Flashback:_

"_Who the hell are you?" His deep voice asked me, and my throat cleared to say something. Fran stared at me worriedly, but I managed to speak._

"_I'm Liliana Del Vecchio, and I would like… to join the Varia."_

_His red eyes only got more intense after my request, and then they suddenly brightened as he closed them and a sound emitted from his throat._

_He began laughing at me._

Chapter 3: Varia Quality?

My mouth slowly shaped into a frown when I saw that this man was laughing at me. Had I said something funny?

Sweat began to bead on my forehead as I thought about how I had potentially embarrassed myself.

"_Might as well keep my mouth shut…"_

He continued to laugh until he stood up. "You're screwing with me, right? She's too small to cause any kind of damage."

Those words hit a nerve with me, but Fran stepped in. "Boss, she's the one who took down all of those high-profile targets we had."

Almost as quick as he'd been to judge me, he was even _quicker_ to shut up as Fran began spewing details about who I was.

"Boss, I'm serious. She's pretty highly-skilled." Fran finished his speech and bounced on the balls of his feet in what seemed like impatience.

The angry-looking man only seemed to glare at me for a few seconds before finally leaning back in his huge chair.

"How'd you kill them?"

"I-I lured them somewhere without their subordinates and hit them with my darts." My voice came out intimidated, but I swallowed it back as his eyes sharpened with the slightest interest.

"Darts?"

I pulled a green one out of my pocket. "The intensity of the color determines how much poison I put in them. For tough targets, I tend to use red or yellow; my two highest poison concentrations."

Within moments, this guy's eyes seemed to harden defensively.

"_This guy… he's intimidating. He's also younger than I thought he'd be."_

I bit my lip without thinking about it as Fran stepped in for me. "Boss, I think she'd be a great asset to the Varia. I observed how she works in action, and I think she's Varia Quality."

The man seemed to think very hard as his hands wandered down to the arms of his chair and his eyes closed in concentration.

They shot open with a new fire, a new idea, inside of them.

"Fine. You can be a part of the Varia, as long as you do everything I ask you to do, along with my subordinates."

I nodded vigorously, feeling a smile brighten up my face. "Yes, of course! Thank you!"

"You can start by cleaning the entire castle from top to bottom, and then you can take a break and make all of us a well-earned lunch. After that, you can continue until you're done, then you can tend to the garden. You can take another break to prepare us another meal, and once you're finished with your chores, you can sleep."

I blinked once. Twice. Three times. I still hadn't grasped the entirety of what he'd told me.

"_Does this mean… I won't be fighting? I'll just be… cleaning?"_

My disappointment turned into rage within a moment as my mouth took over. I was _furious._

"Who the hell do you think is bussing tables?!"

I felt a sudden heat about the room as my new boss raised a gun at me. "Get to it, scum."

"_I'm sure as HELL not gonna argue with him when he's sticking that thing at me!"_

"Y-yes!" I felt my knees knock together as I backed out of the room, Fran following me closely.

As we closed the huge doors behind us, I felt a sudden wave of confusion wash over me.

"_So… am I supposed to clean now? Is this what I'm going to be doing throughout my time here…?"_

I _really_ didn't wanna get shot today, so I turned to Fran in hopes of comfort.

"You're on your own for this one, Lili. Cleaning supplies are in closets in every hallway; they're not hard to find."

He sauntered down the steps and disappeared behind a column as I sighed audibly.

"I can't believe I'm doing this. Might as well have stayed at home, tch." I felt the true side of myself come out as I seemed to let loose.

"_Where's the closet?"_

I searched every wall until I finally found one with a handle on it, attached to a beautifully-crafted door.

After prying it open, I came across basic supplies, such as a bucket and a mop, dust formulas, you name it.

I pulled out the bucket and the mop first, since that was probably the most tedious job there was around here. Glancing inside of the bucket, I found a bottle of soap.

"Now, I've gotta find a sink to fill this thing up with water."

Listing my tasks verbally to myself helped me calm down, I think. My movements became more relaxed and I didn't shake nearly half as much as I ventured down the long, marble halls.

In a matter of minutes, I walked by a bright and sunny-looking room, and I double-took on it.

The kitchen.

"_Of course,"_ I sighed in relief as I stepped inside, only to find someone already at the sink.

Whoever it was wasn't talking, but they were in my way. The long, silvery locks they sported on their head told me that it must have been a female, as I addressed them that way.

"Excuse me miss, may I use the sink for a moment?"

My blind-girl personality began to come back with my nervousness as sweat beaded on my forehead and my breathing speed picked up with my heartbeat.

"Voi, what the hell?"

I felt my heartbeat speed up even more so as I realized that that wasn't a very womanly voice.

He turned around and I was met with an obviously manly face with manly features.

"I'm sorry," I immediately apologized as my legs began knocking together again. "I didn't realize-"

"VOOOOOOIIIIIII!" My ears rang from how loud his voice was as I backed away, slowly. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

I bit my lip again as my hands suddenly got greasy and the bucket in them became slippery, but I tried my best to hold onto it.

"I'm… a new member, but the boss sent me to clean the… the castle."

The man stared at me for only a few more seconds as he snorted. "The maid, huh?"

My ears must have decided to turn red as I nodded, feeling embarrassment swim up to my cheeks. Who was I kidding?

"Voi; I'll let it slip _this time,_ but if it happens again, I'll make sure they don't find your body."

The hair on the back of my neck stood up as the guy pushed past me and disappeared around the corner.

"_Who was he…? Could he have been one of the guys that Fran told me about?"_

I had no idea, but I was too scared to worry about it as I filled the bucket as full as it would go without me continuously spilling it all over the place while I found a nice, open spot to begin.

After lugging the bucket out of the sink and spilling a small amount of water on my shoe, I picked up the mop and carried on.

"I hope no more idiots show up." I muttered to myself, feeling a scowl occur on my face in concentration.

The overwhelming smell of the soap I'd overdosed the water with wafted up to my nose as I finally stopped in a beautifully open hallway with windows to the outside.

For no more than a moment, I glanced out there to glimpse the sun rising over the trees; it must be right around ten.

"Okay, might as well get the hell started." As much as I felt like a ten-year-old bitter about doing the household chores, I didn't see why _I_ was chosen for this job.

"_But if I complained, then I'd be shot… or worse, kicked out."_

Although I'd _probably_ need to sort out my priorities, I was happy that I was here.

I was rolling with the big dogs now. Who would have guessed it? Surely not me, and Romano would praise me for how far I'd gotten in life.

Sadly, he'd died a few years back after his time on death row finally ended, killed by the same poison I used continuously with my darts every day.

A lump in my throat appeared as I shook the thought of Romano out of my head.

"_I'm not gonna cry."_

The more I told myself, though, the unhappier I became. My breathing became shorter with the effort of holding my feelings in.

"Eh? Like I asked earlier, who the hell are you?"

I gasped slightly as my eyes widened and I turned around. The blonde-haired dress-up guy was standing behind me at a sizable distance.

My breath caught in my throat as my mind began reeling. _"I can't cry in front of this guy…"_

I felt my jaw slack as he seemed to frown. I wanted to answer him, but the tears that my personal levees held back threatened to burst through.

"Whatcha doing? Cleaning?"

My eyes seemed to fill with fear; I could feel the lump in my throat beginning to form.

"_Am I seriously going to act like a baby in front of a guy who has probably never cried in his life…?"_

An awkward silence began to form between us as his body language grew uncomfortable for a second and slowly grew into irritation.

"Don't ignore me. I asked you a question."

"I'm not ignoring you," my voice came out tiny and controlled as I focused on not crying about my previous thoughts. "My name is Liliana, and I'm a new member. I prefer Lil, though."

The guy seemed to relax as I answered him. "If you're a new member, then what are you doing cleaning?"

I shrugged, feeling my hand tighten on the mop as I set the bucket at my feet. "The boss told me to clean all over the castle before I make everyone lunch."

I half-expected this kid to feel sorry for me, you know, human instinct, but this wasn't the case.

"Sucks to suck." He'd shrugged and began to walk away from me before I felt impulse take over.

"Wait, what's your name?"

He turned back to me. If I could see his eyes, I'd say they'd have looked taken aback.

"Belphegor. You can just call me Bel, though, to save you the trouble. Lookin' forward to that lunch; get done soon, I'm starving!"

He laughed for a moment as he continued down the hall.

I sighed and concentrated on swinging my mop back and forth. I couldn't believe the kid I'd just spoken to.

"Who does he think he is?" I muttered to myself, angrily mopping the floor.

"I'm a prince." That same, cocky voice spoke to me from behind my back.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed as I fell back and pushed him away.

He seemed to visibly flinch as he scratched his head. "Geez, I didn't expect you to _hit_ me, Lil…"

I shook my head. "You asked for it. Don't cry about it."

After turning away, Bel seemed to suddenly appear in front of me as he took my mop from me.

My fingers itched with contempt as he smacked my face with it. "Lilie~ Ushishishi, I smacked you~"

"Give it back, you moron!" I hissed through my gritted teeth as I lunged for it.

Bel pulled the broom back and whapped me on the head with it. I fell back as my automatic recoil kicked in.

As my ass hit the marble, my anger mounted. Sweat began to bead in every nook in my body.

"Senpai, why are you teasing Lili?"

Before I could bury my fist in this posh-princess's face, Fran seemed to come from nowhere as his sea-green eyes dug into me and then into Bel.

"What? I can't have fun with the newbie?" Bel sneered as his laugh echoed throughout the halls.

"_Who does he… think he is?!"_ My temper flared inside of me as a knot formed in my stomach.

"It's not funny; give me my mop back, I have to clean!"

My voice was supposed to be angry, but it came out just like I thought it would… my little blind girl voice.

Bel and Fran gave me an odd look and then Bel began to bellow out laughing.

I felt my fists ball up in anger as my frustration almost reduced itself to crying.

"Dammit," I muttered softly, as I pushed Bel and grabbed my mop back and quickly dunked it into the soapy water.

I tried to ignore a small laugh that Bel had tried to suppress.

"Ushishishi… Lil, why are you cleaning, anyway?"

My eyebrows knitted themselves together as I focused on disregarding him.

"_He can't just act like nothing happened. Hell, who does he think he is? Just because I'm new…"_

I slowly felt my muscles stop working as my mind wandered deeper into thought. Was it really the right choice that I decided to become a part of the Varia?

"Lili, you look pale." Fran inquired as his eyes searched me. He looked confused.

My eyes slowly focused as I began to mop hurriedly with effort. I could feel _it_ beginning to happen again.

"I'm fine, I was just thinking."

I felt my mouth move but it suddenly became dry as I suddenly stumped and clenched onto my mop.

"_Shit,"_ I swore inwardly, feeling my knees start to buckle.

I was _starving._ It'd been _days_ since I'd even _touched_ food, and now it was finally taking its toll on my body.

"Eh? Lil, quit screwing around and clean."

Bel's sneer made me glance over to him with my one eye as I watched the smirk on his face gradually disappear.

Before I could open my mouth to tell him to shut up, I felt my knees buckle awkwardly and unexpectedly. I felt myself slide to the wet floor as my legs turned into jello.

A surprised gasp emitted from one of the two as my head hit the ground.

My stomach tightened uncomfortably as I felt the sudden, desperate need for food engulf me.

"What the hell?" Bel's voice sounded surprised as my vision from my one eye faded in and out.

"_I… need food…"_

Starving myself was _never_ a good idea; it put me on the brink of killing myself every time I did it, but it was worth it in the end by staying as small and lithe as I was now.

Slowly, all sounds and movement faded away and I felt my hunger soon disappear as well. I couldn't feel anything anymore, not even my own thoughts.

* * *

Kinda awkward and random, in my personal opinion. I'm running out of ideas, guise… xD Sorry I haven't updated, I had no idea what to do xD

I got not one, not two, but _three_ reviews in the process! I'm so happy! (cries a tear of joy).

Hopefully, this will pick up soon… it's getting more interesting, slowly. I hate stories that jump into the plot like it's a pool.

I'm trying to work on the characters and staying in character… but we'll see how this turns out. xD

Review and tell me what you think ^-^


	4. Co-Workers

_Flashback:_

_Starving myself was never a good idea; it put me on the brink of killing myself every time I did it, but it was worth it in the end by staying as small and lithe as I was now._

_Slowly, all sounds and movement faded away and I felt my hunger soon disappear as well. I couldn't feel anything anymore, not even my own thoughts._

Chapter 4: Co-Workers

"Hey! I think she's gonna be okay!"

"You idiot, quit being annoying."

"You were the one who freaked out in the first place!"

"You'd have done the same, dammit!"

My eyes slowly opened as I flexed my fingers. When the hell had I fallen asleep? Was it _another_ one of those times where I randomly passed out because I starved myself?

"_Okay… seeing as I don't remember anything, it must be…"_

A pounding in my head made me reluctant to move as the pain slowly returned and my body struggled to familiarize with it.

"Little girl, are you alright? Did Bel harass you to the point of no return?"

A sassy, yet manly voice caught my attention as I fought myself upward into a sitting position. My head backlashed at me for it, but the beautiful room I was in made up for it.

I had been lying on a velvety couch with golden details as the marble walls and floors of this room seemed to make it even bigger than it already was.

Fran was staring at me with his emotionless expression. "Lili, why are you so _weak_?"

His scathing comment deserved to be reprimanded, but my stomach suddenly twisted as I let out a yelp of surprise.

I could feel it caving in, literally. _"Not a good sign,"_ I mentally told myself.

Frantically looking around for something, anything, that I could eat, a man with a multicolored Mohawk and whacky glasses made a face at me.

"What are you looking for?"

I couldn't even find the strength to answer him as my desperation grew intense. If I didn't find food… anything could happen. Usually, it got to the point of weakness. I won't be able to stand or even open doors.

In the Varia, that could be counted as a sign of weakness and I could be kicked out just for that.

I bit my tongue as blood fed me for only a moment's time before Bel finally spoke:

"Lil, what do you need?"

After refusing to answer him, too, I tried to stand. It was my _only_ shot.

"_I can't let myself be downed by this… I can't do this right now… I have to get stronger! I can't let myself look so weak…"_

Hopelessly, I tried to stand. If I could do that, I could find it in me to run.

Fran gave me a matter-of-fact look as he nodded, the huge frog hat on his head not even beginning to budge.

"Senpai, Lussuria… Lili is hungry."

At that moment, I didn't care how well he could read minds and I didn't care what gave me away. All I needed was food.

My mouth began to salivate as I thought about it and the creepy man grabbed me by the shoulder.

"I'll get something ready in a jiffy! What'll it be?"

I didn't have a preference. I didn't care.

My rusty voice seemed to come out of nowhere as I focused on keeping my posture stable and making sure I didn't fall. "Anything!"

"I can grab the cake-pops I made yesterday! I'll be back!"

As the man sped out of the room, I felt my head hit the arm of the chair. Why was I so pathetic?

"_Is it because I have to starve myself to keep myself happy? I hope not…"_

Of everything that either parent had taught me before I ruined their lives, this was the one thing that I clung to, and old habits die hard.

"Lil, what the hell is wrong with you? Can you, like, not stand after a certain amount of time?"

Bel seemed to stare at me from beyond his bangs with confusion in his tone as he messed with his feathery hair.

I shook my head, but before I could answer, Fran cut in. "Lili is just hungry, Senpai. I wouldn't mess with her."

The kid sat on the arm of the comfortable couch we were on as the weird-looking man reappeared with a cake-pop in his hand.

My stomach ruptured at the very _sight_ of it as I reached for it, hungrily.

"There you go," the man said in a motherly tone as I dove into the poor pop. "Lili-chan, right? That's your name?"

I couldn't answer over the bliss I felt. My cheeks were literally turning pink as color seemed to flood back into my face.

Fran nodded in response to the question as the man tilted his head in confusion. "Why is Lili here?"

Bel shrugged as he took my weak opportunity to grab a lock of my hair and twirl it around his finger in a bored manner.

"She's supposedly a new member… but the boss has her cleaning the castle and making meals instead."

I finished off the cake-pop in nearly a minute as I savored the last, beautiful taste of it before deciding to engage in conversation.

"The boss told me to clean before making you guys lunch… and I _really_ don't wanna get shot…"

The man held his head in confusion for a moment. "Oh, that man! He shouldn't threaten someone so new to the group! That's just plain rude!"

Without so much as a second of a pause, he smiled at me. "My name is Lussuria, by the way, if I forgot to point that out."

I nodded, not really knowing what to make of this guy. "Hi…" My dry voice seemed like it was on the verge of cracking, but it held off, just for me.

Fran's unemotional facial expression turned bored within moments as he slouched suddenly. "Bleh, I wish we had missions to partake in. The boss won't even let us leave the _castle_ right now. So bored…"

"_The Varia… is full of a bunch of weirdos and idiots, led by a man who waves a gun around at the people who work for him… what the hell have I done?"_

The tingly sensation of my cheeks flushing became less evident as Bel sighed, poking me in the shoulder.

"Lil, why the hell were you picked for this job, anyway? Aren't you better suited for something else? Like, oh, I dunno… something with a lot less violence and killing?

Fran's eyes narrowed as he attempted to scratch his head, but the frog hat seemed to get in the way.

"Lili was chosen because she's got something that we don't; poison."

I nodded in understanding as the frog-headed kid went on.

"With _that_ kind of weapon, she could down our opponents in a matter of _minutes_, while Bel-senpai, with his _fashionable_ and _unique_ knives, could merely make one flinch."

"Bastard…" I could feel the aura of Bel's impending rage hanging over us like a storm cloud, but that was aside the point as Lussuria shrugged and flexed a well-built muscle from beneath his faded gray tank top.

He adjusted his glasses as he stood up and stretched. "I think it's about time for some sparring to keep my skills up to date. I'll see you guys at lunch!"

Within moments after his departure, Fran only glanced at me before finally deciding to make a comment.

"Lili, its lunchtime. Can I have a sandwich? Oh, and make a king-sized one, for the prince."

My eye twitched as I attempted to stand on my own two feet. "I'm not… not the maid, you know!"

The anger that I tried to harden my voice with only came out as an exhausted effort to sound irritated. When I took a deep breath, I could _feel_ the emptiness in my stomach as I lunged for something to hold onto.

I seemed to knick the couch as I stumbled and landed on the marble floor.

"Do you get this way when you're hungry… all the time?"

My mind tricked itself when I turned right and found that Bel hadn't been standing behind me there.

I turned the other way, naturally, as I could see him standing right beside me. Without even having to see his eyes, I knew how pitiful he thought I was at the moment.

I had to turn my entire face toward him to see him and his posture suddenly changed.

"Lil, why'd you do that? You have both eyes, right?"

My heart jumped at how taken aback I had been for a split second, but it slowed when I realized the extent of his confusion.

"_He doesn't know about my blindness…"_

I guess I'd been so sure that since Fran knew, everyone in the Varia knew. How dumb had I been?

"She's fully blind in her left eye, Senpai." Fran answered for me, as he had gotten into the habit of doing so.

"Eh?" Bel's surprised mutter caught me off-guard as he slowly fixed himself into a thinking position with his hands supporting his head, and came back up with his unique laughter.

"Ushishishi! Blind? How the hell can someone with such a huge weakness be involved in the Varia? In the _Mafia?_"

His laughter bellowed on and my mind took a turn for itself. _"He's right… you're not fit for Mafia life."_

Half of me wanted to admit that I should have _nothing_ to do with the Mafia, but my heart, the little flame inside of me didn't want to give up.

"I could kill you if I wanted to," my pip-squeak voice weaseled its way out of my mouth. "I could kill _all_ of you if I set my mind to it."

Bel only seemed to laugh harder as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. "Come at me! I would _love_ to see you try it! I'm a prince and I _always_ win!"

My body began rapidly shaking as my eyes narrowed and I reached into the well-hidden, hand-made pocket I'd made for my darts inside of my fluffy, sky blue jacket.

"_Someone's gonna die today… and it's not gonna be me."_

My conscience unconsciously told me that it was my goal to kill him, just like every other murder I'd committed had been.

"Lili."

Fran was staring down at me with understanding in those dull eyes of his. "Senpai's not worth it, you know."

"Excuse _me_, you little piece of shit," Bel pushed past me and got up into Fran's face. "I was _waiting_ for her to try something."

Fran turned to me, slowly. "I told you. It's pointless to fight his stubborn mind. As much of a 'genius' as they all think he is, I personally have yet to hear one smart thing come out of his mouth."

All of my rage slowly drained as I fell back down onto the couch. _"He's probably right… Fran probably is used to dealing with Bel, and I'm not… although he IS kinda lucky I haven't killed him yet…"_

Bel's rage seemed to die out, too, despite the scathing comments he had just received.

"Dammit, I can't fight on an empty stomach…" He growled, anxiously messing with knives that seemed to come out of an endless hole that was his Varia-crested jacket's pocket.

I nodded as Fran suddenly grabbed me by my wrist. "Field trip… yay."

"Ah!" I yelped as the hold tightened and I finally steadied myself on two feet as I was dragged out of the beautiful room I had been in.

A bruise was slowly beginning to form on my wrist as the marble beneath my feet caused me to slip and slide all over the place.

"Fran, what the hell?" My voice cracked this time as he tugged harder.

"Pretty sure that it's lunchtime, and if you're late, the boss _will_ shoot you. His food is very important to him." Fran's monotonous voice caught me nearly off guard.

"His _food?_ Are you fucking kidding me?"

Bel seemed to appear out of nowhere as he walked beside Fran, who enjoyed dragging me along.

"The boss? Well, if there's two things you don't _ever_ fucking mess with, unless you _want_ to die, it's his food and his sleep."

"Why?" The most confused sound came out of my mouth as my eyebrows meshed together in concentration.

Bel shrugged as he stuck his hands into his pockets and I struggled to stand up straight as I continued to be dragged along the marble floors.

"No idea. I guess that's just his cup of tea."

After a long pause of awkward silence, the three of us reached the kitchen.

"So," I struggled to acquire my footing without my shoes on with the slippery floor. "Sandwiches for both of you, then?"

Fran nodded and tapped his finger upon his lips in a thinking manner. "The annoying captain would probably want fish… but we're running low. Sandwich day it is."

I finally began to feel helpful, despite my continuously growling stomach that I struggled to conquer.

"How many should I make?" My confidence level was beginning to boost.

"Six should be enough to cover all of us." Bel shrugged as he sauntered over toward a large table and sat himself at the head of that table.

I hurried over to the fridge and pulled out the meat and ham that I could immediately see.

"_It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. It could always be worse."_

"_VOI_! Where's my food?!"

That same, loud voice filled the air as Bel muttered something along the lines of the noisy man needing to shut up.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"Squalo… calm down. This isn't 'who can yell the loudest'. It's not a competition. You'd win, anyway even if it _was_, if _that_ makes you feel better."

Without needing to turn around, I could only imagine the smart look on Fran's face as he openly insulted the poor, ganged-up man called Squalo.

"_If he's the captain, why doesn't he kick their asses into place? That's what I'd do if my subordinates got out of hand, anyway."_

Loud footsteps filled the room as I finished sawing open the final sandwich and began filling them with meat and cheese.

"Where's boss?"

A _deep_, deep voice greeted the latter of us as I turned in surprise to see a _giant,_ decked-out man with a lightning bolt scar on his lip.

"Who are you?"

My eyes widened when I realized he'd been talking to me as they slowly turned distrustful.

"I'm a new member."

My confidence had allowed me not to stutter in the least, but the man only narrowed his eyes even further as he sat down near the other head of the table, away from Bel.

As I turned back to putting the cheeses and meats onto these damned sandwiches, a nonchalant conversation hummed into my ears.

"_As unprofessional as they seem, when it comes to lunch, it must be a big deal if they're all coming down at one time."_

"Sorry, I'm late!"

Lussuria had busted through the doors with sweat covering him head-to-toe.

"Damn, girl, shower." Bel laughed his usual, uncanny laugh as Fran laughed unenthusiastically. "Ha, ha, ha, Senpai. You're so hilarious."

My mind reeled with all of the _men_ that I was working with. _"Am I seriously the only girl?"_

Irritation stung me for a moment, but soon went away. That's how it always was, even back in the gang days. I'd been the first and only girl in the entire gang, and it was _right_ that way.

Fran looked at me. "Hurrrryyyyy, Lili! We're starving."

I nodded as I prepared the final touches of the sandwiches; double stuffing them.

"_Big boys eat big… right?"_ I giggled at my own thought, struggling to keep myself sane between the hunger pangs and the nervousness.

As soon as I finished the final sandwich, it suddenly got quiet in the room. I turned to see the very same man who'd threatened to blow my head off earlier walking toward the opposite head of Bel and sitting beside Lightning Dude.

I struggled to balance three sandwiches on plates at once as I served Bel, Fran, and Lussuria first.

I hurried back to grab the other three and served the less familiar of the bunch.

"Voi, this had better be good…"

"…"

"Boss…"

I hurried back to my station and found that there was only one sandwich left.

"_I wonder who this is for...?"_

My stomach seemed to reach out for it as my stomach lurched suddenly. The smell of food had finally registered in my brain as dread crept up upon me.

"Lil, come sit with mee~"

Bel's teasing tone made me seethe on the inside for a moment, but I slid into an empty seat beside Bel and next to the Squalo guy, who glared at me before taking a bite into his sandwich and started up a conversation with our scary-looking boss.

"Who's this last sandwich for?" I looked around, wondering if I'd missed someone, but Fran seemed to shrug.

"It's yours, so your stomach stops trying to commit suicide."

It earned a small laugh from the captain as my eyes widened. "Really?"

Before even letting him answer that question, I dove into my sandwich and ate it, disregarding taste completely.

The mush that I swallowed must have been great, as in minutes my stomach seemed to nearly purr with happiness as it was now full.

I glanced down the table stealthily, as my right eye was facing that side, and I observed the man I was working for.

He ate his sandwich like a normal person of his age, and he nodded and shook his head in regards to the Lightning Guy's questions and comments.

"Lil, these sandwiches aren't bad. Lussuria's aren't even _half_ as good." Bel mused as he took another bite into it.

"Bel-chan! You _know_ they're not as bad as you say!" Lussuria complained from the seat next to Fran.

Fran, who sat across from me, glanced at the boss and back to his own food.

"_What was he looking at?"_

I took it upon myself to glance a second time, and our eyes locked.

Those very same fiery red eyes that looked as though you were stepping out of hell intimidated me.

"_Why's he staring at me?"_

The sensation pricked at me, even when he didn't have his eyes on me.

"_What'd I do wrong?"_

That was my automatic reaction as he smirked quietly at something that one guy said as he took continuous, rapid bites out of my sandwich.

"Voi; what's your name?"

The loud, obnoxious voice I had had to deal with for only a few minutes had affected the way I thought about him.

"_Annoyingly loud,"_ I mused before realizing I had to answer the question.

"I'm Liliana."

Not only Squalo-captain-guy stared at me for my name, either. Lightning guy shrugged.

"Where in Italy are you from?"

"She's from Cherrywood, Levi. Just around the corner."

I felt my blood run cold as I thought about my past house and life. I shook it away almost as soon as it happened.

"_Don't think about it. You're here in the Varia to kick ass, so do it."_

As I snapped myself out of it, I looked up to find the boss staring at me for a moment before going back to eating.

"Wait a fucking second," Squalo slammed his fists down on the table, making my heart jump. "She _can't_ be the one who-"

"Yep." Fran stood to throw his plate into the dishwasher and I could feel multiple sets of eyes on me as my face heated up.

"_What's so surprising? Did they all really think I was only here to be the maid?"_

"_VOIIIII_! Why in _hell_ was I kept in the dark about this?! _I'm_ the captain!"

My ears began to ring with the intensity of this guy's voice as the scary lightning guy stared me down with surprise in his gaze.

"Wow, calm down, Squalo. According to the boss, she's only here to clean. Ushishishi~"

Bel's increasingly annoying voice didn't allow me to get a word in as his laugh intensified, along with Squalo.

"Guys, don't tease her! It's only her first day!" A brave-hearted Lussuria stood up for me as I casted a grateful glanced his way.

Fran sat himself back down, gently dabbing his mouth with a napkin. "Lili should start by introducing herself to you all… first name basis isn't how we work."

"Idiot," Bel sneered. "All we know about _you_ is your first name!"

I felt a giggle make its way up my throat has Fran shot him a glare, but refused to make anything of it.

"Since Lili is too shy to say anything, I'll do it."

I looked at the ground uncomfortably when he said that. Fran seemed to guess how I was feeling, every emotion that I had. I'd never had that in anyone before.

"_What's he going to say about me…?"_

The thought stuck with me. Would the rest of my team hear about the things that I've done?

"Lili is 29 years old, her birthday is October 2nd, and she's only five feet tall."

A small laugh from Bel could be heard as Fran continued on.

"At age fourteen, she ran away from home and joined a petty gang. Three months later, she witnessed her first murder at a snack shop by the name of _Mario's._ The next day, she, along with an accomplice, raided her _own_ home and killed maids. Lili, though, went upstairs and killed her two twin sisters."

At first, my heart stopped. _"Why is he saying these things?! They're terrible!"_ What would my teammates think? Would they think I'm cruel?

I only had to wait a heartbeat for a response. Squalo spoke up after he smirked.

"They must'a _really_ pissed you off, Lil."

Surprisingly, a laugh made its way out of my mouth. "Yeah, those bitches were terrible."

My language amazed the little blind girl inside of me, but my truly unkind side was beginning to show to these people. Whenever my sisters were mentioned, I became a monster. A murderer. That alone is what made all of my missions successful.

An audible giggle arose from the table as Fran nodded. "Lili carries a picture of her sisters to every mission, glancing at it to strengthen her killing intent."

Bel spoke up, flipping his hair in a relaxed manner. "Lil, I killed my brother… well, Xanxus did… but I _almost_ did. I know that feeling. Just because he was older than me made _me_ the runner-up for prince."

"_Xanxus…?"_ Confusion clouded my gaze. Who the hell was he talking about? After using my context clues, I realized that that was my boss's name.

I could feel all rationality slipping when I thought about my sisters. I truly hated them, more than I'd ever hated anything before.

"Lil," Levi caught my attention with his deep voice. "You were the one who killed half of our targets, right?"

I nodded, feeling proud on the inside. _"Hell yeah, that was me."_ Every murder had been unsolved, no trace left behind. Those idiots couldn't determine the cause of death, either.

"So, you're part of us now?" Squalo narrowed his eyes at me. I nodded. "Yes, but the boss has me cleaning instead of fight-"

"_VOIIIII! YOU DAMN BOSS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?"_

My mind reeled in confusion. _"Oh shit! Is he allowed to talk to him like that?!"_ I'd gotten a pistol pointed at me for asking him if I was going to be the maid. I wondered how he wasn't dead on the spot.

"_WE COULDN'T DEFEAT THE TARGETS BECAUSE OF THE DAMN SECURITY THEY HAD AROUND THEM, BUT THIS LITTLE GIRL DID IT WITH HER EYES CLOSED! WE HAVE HER ON OUR TEAM, AND YOU TELL US SHE'S ONLY HERE TO CLEAN? VOIIII!"_

Squalo's tone worried me the more angry he seemed to get.

I let my gaze drift across the room to my boss, who stared at Squalo furiously. The malicious intent in his eyes made my heart pound in fear for the captain.

Slowly, the intent faded away and Xanxus closed his eyes after heaving a sigh.

Lussuria, who'd been quiet for the entire discussion, glanced at me behind his whacky sunglasses.

"Lili, you poor thing. I'm sure once the boss sees your potential, he'll let you do more things."

"_I'll be happy if he doesn't kill me, though. That I'd be okay with."_

I glanced nervously around as I nodded. "Do you all want me to take your plates up?"

As I earned a collective nod, I stood and collected all of the plates, one-by-one. After passing my boss, I could feel his gaze stinging me, again.

"_Why the hell does he keep staring at me?"_

Without bothering to turn after I collected Lussuria's plate, I hurried into the kitchen to start the dishwasher.

After I finally managed to hit the button to start it, I noticed my boss get up from his seat and leave without a word.

"_And he was so talkative earlier…"_ I remembered when he laughed at Fran for telling him that _I_ wanted to join the Varia, but since then, he hasn't said a word.

"You'll get used to it," Fran stared at me. "Boss doesn't like to grace the unworthy with his blessed words on a normal basis."

I nodded as Levi followed the boss out of the door and Squalo, still fuming, took a different door, which seemed to lead outside.

Bel approached me, poking me with one of his fancy-looking knives. "Lil, whatcha gonna do?"

I shook my head in confusion. "I'm supposed to finish the castle and then start on the garden," I recited. "Then, I'm supposed to make dinner and finish the garden before I go to bed."

Bel shrugged as he put his elbow atop of my head. "I guess you'd better get after it. Boss'll shoot you."

"I know," I sighed as I fought Bel off of me.

Lussuria came up to us nonchalantly. "Xanxus isn't much of a listener, but if you have a problem with what he asked you to do, wait until he's in a good mood and try to convince him otherwise."

I nodded at his advice as my fingers began to itch with anticipation. _"I can't wait until I'm actually a part of the group… so far, so good. They all seem to like me, except for the boss. I'm not really sure if he likes anyone, though."_

Relief washed through my veins. At least they liked me. I wasn't going to be that annoying kid no one could stand.

What about fighting? That's what I _really_ wanted to do. That was why I joined. I wanted to fight, so why was I stuck doing the boring, cleaning jobs?

"_I will never clean another spot in this castle for that man after he decides to give me actual rights to being in the group,"_ I silently vowed.

"Hey, Lil," Bel jerked his head toward the door. "Fran and I will hang around and watch you clean."

I don't know what it was about that sentence, but I felt my heart get all warm and fuzzy. I think I was on the way to making some friends, too.

Friends who loved to do what I liked to do, like Romano liked to do.

Friends in killing, friends in death.

* * *

FIIINNNALLLYYY. Long chapter, took forever, my bad :[ I am glad that I have earned another 3 reviews as the result of my hard work. Thanks guys ^-^

Also, we're slowly getting into Lil's character development, which I hope gets better than I think it's going now…

Ready for the real action to start? Soon, my friends, soon.

Keep those reviews coming, I like to know what the audience thinks, sometimes it influences my opinion, too. :3


End file.
